Do I miss God, as much as I miss Evie?

It is with great fondness that I remember some of the trips to Chowan and How God inhabited our fellowship in the car for hours on end. I think there was also a wonderful presence of God, when we traveled and were cooped up in the car for hours, when you were children. Now that you are a woman and the rest of my children nearly grown, my fellowship with you guys is something I miss, but God doesn't leave me, like you guys do. I just hope that you are aware of the presence of God for yourself and grow accustomed to seeking it in worship and the things that you do.

The Sense and Sensibility of the presence of God

Is it an evasive thing?

Do we hide our sense of hollowness, behind a veil of sacred pretense? Where are you God? Are you here with us? You said you would be with us when we gather? And yet is that the case? Still, we convince ourselves and connect in words only and not beseeching God to truly attend our gatherings. We stand like the emperor without his new clothes and pretend to be clothed.

“Could it be You make your presence known, so often by your absence?” Michael Card

Our children are laughing that we are continuing to gather with such an “invasive” absence of God’s presence. Do we implore Him to be with us, in our prayer meetings?” Chase we the almighty dollar so that we cannot attend anymore? It isn’t a priority. We know we will see Him on Sunday… We comfort ourselves. “He knows my heart”

Have you moved away, Lord?

You promised to inhabit our praise? Where are You, Lord?

I do not really feel bereft of the presence of God, but it is a great fear of mine to be insensible of the absence of God and truly deceived by my own religiosity. My practices replacing his presence. I think that is why He chose someone like Amos and someone like Obed Edom to be present with. There is no religious veil to cut through. I would want to be that way and not deceived by my own thoughts of religiousness, Nor the comparison of others with myself.

Forgive my making light of your presence, Lord. Forgive my acceptance of the status quo of your love and attention. Help me to know You in the reality of Your lifting Your people to greater usefulness in our nation and our world. For the Church’s Sake in Jesus’ Name, Amen

As Emily and you visit the Grand Canyon of American decision making...

Perhaps, DC is the place where we send our best talkers to learn how to monetize human life and make deals for their constituents. We have all decided that the only people who are unrepresented are the unborn, at this juncture of history. If we survive this calculation is up to us. Will we fight for the truth that they are people too, or will we continue to barter the future adinfinitum, so to speak.

A part of our country that is always under the spotlight of public scrutiny and paying the price of God's judgment is a spectacle, of course. I think that there are different places in the country that have claims to fame. DC is the hollowness of the hole in the ground of the conscience.

If I make my bed in hell, Thou art there! God's word reminds us.

So we needn't be afraid of being there. But I must be afraid of the mentality that every person has a monetization. How much is that person's vocabulary worth? Etc. Are they using it up to the level of the parity of their deductions? All of that is in the air in DC. You needn't enter into the discourse with it. You only need to pray that God will touch and bring the valleys up to ground level.

In my imagination, every State negotiates with the heavenlies for the trophy of God's presence. Do we want some of His presence? Do we turn from including Him in our ways? We will be shocked, when we get to heaven and find that we had just about as much of God as we ever wanted, both in our personal life and in our corporate "State".

Don't Drink the Water!

Are you reeling in the yeast???

Today was a quizzical day for my bakers quiver.

Somedays it is a yeast bread day and somedays are flat bread days. Today was a cinnamon roll and pizza dough day. As I walk through the store, it is as though women talk to me from the air in the store who have long gone before us. Do you know that this many choices in the store were never possible in any other generation, they ask me? I know, I know is what I often say. Today's suggestion from the great beyond was curly kale and bok choy yeast bread. It is just as ugly as it sounds. I bulleted my vegetable catch in my Nutribullet mixer and went to work making my interesting, if unappetizing concoction. I tasted the juice from my veggies and insisted it needed some sugar to make it work. I added sugar and much less of the concoction than I had earlier thought I would. Celery would have gentled the mixture, I think. Less of the deep green and bitterness, but I used the concoction as I said.

6 cinnamon rolls, 6 large bread rolls and a rectangular pizza came out of the dough.

Reeling in the pounds will be the result, if I eat it all myself. I shared some.I'll let you know if it makes us poop.

More on poop...

She seemed commander of the poop!  She celebrated their transition to a less sticky process of diaper changing...

She knew what to feed them to firm it all up, etc,.  I hadn't noticed those details, but I found myself admiring some certain types of poop and disdaining others....

The Adventists had the best poop, in my opinion. It was like little marbles that you never got on yourself at all.  I liked that better than the mushy stuff...

Parents sent the food, but if they didn't Mrs. Janet kept a stash for them.. Get them off the breast milk as early as possible and let's speed up the changing process.  Not my sentiments, exactly but I understood why people looked at nursing mothers with an incredulity of their tolerating that soft stuff for so long...  It is a lot different when it is your breast milk and your child's soft stuff...

the study of poop?

This is my fourth year in the study of infant care. I was in awe of Ms. Janet, initially. She seemed in command of her ship, so diligently. Some might have considered her a control freak. I simply loved to watch what her focus was. So much of childcare is unpredictable, that she considered controlling what could be controlled as her mission. In my years of mothering, I must say that I never thought of it that way.

Her very first consideration of the child was the poop. It is disgusting. I agree that poop is disgusting. But the difference between nursing poop and bottle poop is uncontrollable. She didn't like the changing process, but she would gird herself up as a warrior and change them in and amazing rhythm.

She seemed to have a party when the child no longer had that yucky kind of poop. I had never noticed that there had been a process to the poop. Early harder poops that can be handled easily became my goal, also. Less time wiping and fewer soft poops as possible became the goal. That became my focus amidst the mayhem of infant care.

Keeping them from hurting eachother and learning how they communicate was a close second to not having to spend ten or fifteen minutes changing a poopy baby. I really don't mind the changing diaper process persay, but children have a way of using that time to get into mischief. I saw that.

Today I thought about that because my poop was unusually sinking to the bottom of the toilet and I consider that I may have a new season of my own poop to consider. That is why I am telling you so!