I had the biggest argument with my mother before "Confirmation!"

I don't want to get confirmed. "WHAT!?" "I WILL NOT HAVE IT!" Mom, I don't feel what you feel in church. I don't want to just get confirmed to have a big party and get money from people. "What is wrong with you?" my sisters queeried. "We won't do that, when it's our turn." There were gossip and myths about what happened when you got confirmed that were floating around. Some of them were scary. I didn't really believe them, I just didn't want to pretend that I was believing, when I wasn't. I believed that I didn't believe. You will get it, everybody gets it after a while. I don't get it. We went back and forth and of course, she won. The Bishop comes and we took classes and we learned that the Bishop would be the most Holy person we may meet in our life and there was certain decorum and circumstance for such and occasion. As the day got closer, I started to get excited. I am pretty sure that it was Ronny who started the rumor that the Bishop slaps hard on the face. Should I duck? Did I want the Holy Spirit that bad that I would let a complete stranger {no matter how holy he is} slap me in the face and give me a new name? I am sure that my mom was concerned about what the Rosarians would say, if her eldest daughter was a heathen and unconfirmed in the 7th grade. Mom, you don't know what I am talking about. You sway and close your eyes in church, I am only there because Dad would beat us, if we weren't there. I hate that big picture of the fierce white old man that stares me down and the "gospel singers" and all that is in that place. I have to seek and look for God. She would have none of that. A confirmed Catholic girl gets loads and loads of opportunities that a non-confirmed girl cannot even wish for. Well, I got confirmed. I got the slap and it wasn't quite as hard as Ronny promised it would be. I, even think my mother knew the Bishop who came to give us the "Spirit". I got loads of presents and my sisters were still sure that I was crazy for even thinking about declining such a huge privilege. None of the rest of them ever questioned my mother's spiritual direction. She knew best, when it came to the Holy Spirit and gifts. {People are so generous to Catholic girls. Maybe they know that we have harder judgements on us. I don't know, but they were.} Eventually, I did come to know the Lord, personally. My mom was right that He is worthy to be praised and great and good and all of that. I learned some things about God through the types and parallels of confirmation, but knowing Him is far greater than knowing about Him through forms and shadows. I have seen alot of Protestant mothers slap the Holy Spirit into their children, taking the role of the Bishop in the Catholic service. Maybe the Holy Spirit does come through the slap in the face, I don't know what the relevance is of the slap in the face except the closeness to the cloven tongues of fire. I think encouraging the children to get to know Him is better than slapping them.