Truly my addiction is to interacting with babies.
I am reeling from withdrawal when babies are not in my minds grasp. I used to see it in the eyes of my cousin Karla. I never realized that it was contagious. She called it visiting the cherubs. since she never had baby sisters and brothers, it was clear that she had no instruction about the doctrine of TOTAL Depravity. We humored her incessantly, trying to figure this woman out, who believed in heaven in the eyes of a baby. To us they were demons! She did teach us what she could see as a sibling outsider! We started looking for the goodness that seemed so clear to her. How come heaven comes out of them when she is here and hell when she leaves? That is a question for a different observation.
She came over our house whenever there was a visitation of the stork! She spent time with us and taught us to look at these demons as angels. My husband won’t let me have anymore than 3 she told us. Too bad, you would have been a wonderful mother of 20 or thirty children was our thought. Instead she taught us to look at our lot in life with a bit of magic. We recognized God’s blessing. She didn’t have siblings. We had them and we should be grateful. I for one learned to be grateful and to stand tall in my responsibility of having them. I learned to love them, inspite of the trouble and annoyance of them.
Go ahead, do smoke! Have as many of my addictive chemicals (babies) as you possibly can and I will stand on the side and smell the beauty. My mommy heeded her. I heeded her and a couple of my siblings, as well let her smell the smoke of our over stuffed quivers.
We wanted to say, get rid of that +_+_+ husband and get one who will let you have them! Eventually, she did get rid of him, but by that time 20 or 30 more children were out of the question. Too bad! we all said! She would have realized that doctrine, after a while. Total Depravity is definitely understood by siblings and parents of more than 4 or so children, if not the rest of us!
Were they all mistakes? Not at all, they were all answers to the deepest call of our clan, to study Heaven through the eyes of the babies that are given to us. It took many years before I could see that in scripture. The darkness of the cave of childrearing blinds you to the beauty of God’s presence that is with you, in that season. Karla wasn’t blind to it!
