I Will Sing the Wondrous Story...

New hair color today, for mom and Evv.

Photos to follow!

Christ is Faithful to our souls!

When we can't, He can. When we aren't, He is. What a view of God's power that Daniel had. The comparison of our confusion, to God's glory. To us belongs confusion. Even the greatest kingdom in the world that has world domination, as Babylon was, is but a bunch of confusion in the face of God's order. It is a wonder that with all of the lord of this and that thrown around, like water in the kingdom of Babylon, Daniel could see God above all of the confusion. When we exalt people in that way, giving them dominion over and over and over and accollades left and right (letters and numbers behind their names), we are truly confusing ourselves as to who is really Lord over all. Daniel could see. Daniel could pray and He saw the only sacrifice for sins, wasn't even the blood of bulls and goats or the gatherings, but Christ who was to come. That was an awesome view of God's fidelity to His promise to Adam and His promises subsequent to that. His fidelity is in and through Christ, not our dominion and not our fidelity, but His. Christ, help us to see Your order, through the chaos. Amen.

What is womanhood for?

I really liked that movie, "Wreck it Ralph". I liked the useful examples of femininity that our culture throws to the curb, sometimes.Fictional? For Sure. But, close to reality. Stereotypes of efficiency and capability are sometimes eclipsed by the expectation of nurture and sympathy that is expected in femininity. Skill bases are instructed in women as well as in men and they are dependent on the needs of any generation. When a man's skill base becomes defunct and he is not fitting into the "State of the Art" what does that make him? When a woman's skill base doesn't fit the job descriptions, what is she? Motherhood, war, these timelines that we change to fit ourselves into are seasons and they will pass and you have to know who you are outside of these roles, that you may take on. God holds the culture accountable for what it does with these needed skill base essentials. He is reflected in the family unit. When we dispose of the family unit, we are losing a part of the image of God in our world. Not the only image, but an essential image. They say that this is one of the reasons that Rome fell. We cannot know that. We can only know that God judges and gives us minds to judge also. If we judge our culture, maybe we will avert the greater judgment of God. Solomon got a reprieve in his day. All I say to my daughters is, "don't let the world create the you that you want to become...Seek God and stay in the knowledge that His image-bearing role, though out of style will never be out of "His Will".

He's the Champion of Love!

Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Grandma's Card and Aunt Jackie's visit for Miss 17.

A sleepover and time with friends made you miss your sweet Aunt's visit. I love that we have auntie's that remind us of the bark of the tree from which we are chiseled. Mine was Aunt Lorraine. I hated seeing her. She reminded me of genetics. We walked alike, we talked alike, we loved the same things and had spent precious little time with eachother. Her name was like a sentence etched in stone. You are just like... After awhile, I learned to love her and love the reality of God's use of genetics in creation. We have some things that we can control, but genetics is "in the genes." You looked like my sister, Jackie since birth. Hair and features and some of the swiftness of your reflexes are or seem to be straight from Jackie. She came to see the development. You had other thoughts on your mind, this weekend. I kiss you and see the parts of myself that I left to come down here to NC. My sisters and brother, who are as my heart. The love I have for them helps me understand my father and my delightful part of our relationship. Though Auntie and I had no natural womanly graces, Dad and Grandma worked together to give us some of the abilities that nature had forgotten. All brains and no gentility, was at least part the Frankenstein Monster designation. My dad worked like a mechanic on his,"handicapped daughter" lest she be the misfit of her generation. He enjoyed that part of his fatherhood. I felt over cooked and overpecked. But I am blessed to have known his intense molding. Don't miss the molding that your father is inflicting...

Happy Birthday, Ladybug!

Sweet Evelyn, you are loved. We are very grateful that God sent you into our lives. Continue with the curiosity and enthusiasm that has marked your childhood and youth. May womanhood grant you a greater knowledge of the Father in Heaven and every grace and strength for the paths ahead of you. God give you wisdom and encouragement in your every endeavor. I love you! xoxoxo---your MOMMY

When we drop the needle in a sewing project

Sometimes a person could be attempting to sew a garment from several cut pieces of fabric and drops her needle.  When the needle is in the sewing machine it can't fall out of someone's hand.  Thank God for the progress of machines that make sewing a quicker and more productive endeavor. 
The stability of the individual is linked to what kind of posession of relationships in families and in communities and in churches.  God has ordained and continues to bless with stability, those who put their trust in Him and live in the light of their sins having been laid upon our Savior.
When my soul is anchored in the Lord, it is attached to His Body the Church.  He is working out His purposes in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself. 
No one individual is so totally necessary that it cannot be replaced.  God proposes and disposes as He sees fit.
The stability of mind and soul is not one person's task. We are fitly joined together in the Body of Christ and members one of another.  God has many sewing machine churches, ie. restoring the souls of the afflicted, developing the continuance of the Gospel's expression on the earth; doing His will on the earth and the corporate Body of Christ is helped and blessed. 
Learning to become and stay attached to Christ in His Church is my meditation today.

"Mystery is a thing not easily captured..." Make Love Stay

Oh, that Dan Fogelberg, what a way with words he has in that song. Mystery...Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy sang that song, "Sweet Mystery" and I am sure that there will never be another mysteriously beautiful couple on screen. The mystery of the mystery that happens with the glance. Uncle Barry called my attention to it. I was oblivious, when he did. He looked me in the eye and said these new movies can never beat the mystery of the old, in the romance. I said what could he be talking about? Does he want us to go back to silent films? Then, I saw the glances between Nelson and Jeanette. Amazing! They captured the reality of the mystery in that song as they sang to eachother. Uncle was not one for mystery as a rule. He had every part of his desire displayed before him at all times and everywhere. Nothing seemed left to his imagination. He had every back issue of Playboy that there ever was and here he was talking about mystery. What could he be talking about? Now, I think about Dan's catchy and significant phrase-not easily captured. Is that what we are trying to do to a man, some man, our man; catch a mystery. We try showing it and it doesn't work. We try not showing it and it doesn't work. What is it? The question is so cleverly put, by Dan in this song. How do we make love stay is not the question when you are trying to catch a mystery. But it is well meditated upon when you are thinking of how much of yourself, physically and spiritually that you want to show. RC Sproul described so poignantly his captured mystery with Elizabeth Elliott. She is a spiritual giant and there was much in their verbal interaction that he remembered because of the care that she took to be so guarded. He reiterated the conversation, nearly verbatim. None of us know how to be as guarded as she, nor do we wish to be, though we study her to learn how to mortify sin. Still, that is the thing that catches the man's attention and it is so very curious to us women. How can the same man who will put his last paycheck on the table to see as much of someone that they will show, desire to preserve the mystery. I don't want to know that much, they seem to say. Dan said, "once deceased, not easily exhumed." In other words, as we know men say- been there done that, just as easily as not. He says if the heart does become involved you become as a statue whose eyes are no longer alive. Death to your soul for the unrequited love that was experienced. What a way with words he has. This was not God's way for us. It is part of the curse that people can use and disgard people as we do. That is why He gave us the protection of oaths to remind us that we must answer to Him for our actions with the souls of others. It protects us and the other person. Passion is explosive, handle carefully, should be the stamp on the box. Still we have so much access to each other through social media, we must think twice before we open our hearts and bare our souls on social media and elsewhere. I imagine Uncle Barry looking at the difference in the mystery lost to social media. This is not a chosen few as in movies and music, it is the masses whose souls are unscripted before all. Are we strong enough to rescusitate the mystery?

I had the biggest argument with my mother before "Confirmation!"

I don't want to get confirmed. "WHAT!?" "I WILL NOT HAVE IT!" Mom, I don't feel what you feel in church. I don't want to just get confirmed to have a big party and get money from people. "What is wrong with you?" my sisters queeried. "We won't do that, when it's our turn." There were gossip and myths about what happened when you got confirmed that were floating around. Some of them were scary. I didn't really believe them, I just didn't want to pretend that I was believing, when I wasn't. I believed that I didn't believe. You will get it, everybody gets it after a while. I don't get it. We went back and forth and of course, she won. The Bishop comes and we took classes and we learned that the Bishop would be the most Holy person we may meet in our life and there was certain decorum and circumstance for such and occasion. As the day got closer, I started to get excited. I am pretty sure that it was Ronny who started the rumor that the Bishop slaps hard on the face. Should I duck? Did I want the Holy Spirit that bad that I would let a complete stranger {no matter how holy he is} slap me in the face and give me a new name? I am sure that my mom was concerned about what the Rosarians would say, if her eldest daughter was a heathen and unconfirmed in the 7th grade. Mom, you don't know what I am talking about. You sway and close your eyes in church, I am only there because Dad would beat us, if we weren't there. I hate that big picture of the fierce white old man that stares me down and the "gospel singers" and all that is in that place. I have to seek and look for God. She would have none of that. A confirmed Catholic girl gets loads and loads of opportunities that a non-confirmed girl cannot even wish for. Well, I got confirmed. I got the slap and it wasn't quite as hard as Ronny promised it would be. I, even think my mother knew the Bishop who came to give us the "Spirit". I got loads of presents and my sisters were still sure that I was crazy for even thinking about declining such a huge privilege. None of the rest of them ever questioned my mother's spiritual direction. She knew best, when it came to the Holy Spirit and gifts. {People are so generous to Catholic girls. Maybe they know that we have harder judgements on us. I don't know, but they were.} Eventually, I did come to know the Lord, personally. My mom was right that He is worthy to be praised and great and good and all of that. I learned some things about God through the types and parallels of confirmation, but knowing Him is far greater than knowing about Him through forms and shadows. I have seen alot of Protestant mothers slap the Holy Spirit into their children, taking the role of the Bishop in the Catholic service. Maybe the Holy Spirit does come through the slap in the face, I don't know what the relevance is of the slap in the face except the closeness to the cloven tongues of fire. I think encouraging the children to get to know Him is better than slapping them.

Keep the Candle Burning! Great Expectations

The flames of attraction are best submitted to God. The flame of attractiveness will, as Stella said attract all sorts of moths and creatures. Sort the true attraction through the sieve of covenant. The one who, like Pip has the sword of the Spirit that will fight the grasp of Satan upon your soul is the one to embrace and not let go. God has a way of showing you who will not be deceived by your beauty. Christ cleanses and nourishes His Church. The true man of God will be committed to nourish and cherish your soul, though he may be ravished by your beauty. You mustn't deceive him for your selfish motives. If you find this sort of love upon the earth, you are much blessed and will be used of God on the earth for God's glory. I love how Pip is motivated to greatness in the world and in spiritual exploits by the beauty and love of this wretch of a woman. Wise is the beauty who sees her wretchedness and prays and labors to use it to motivate to godliness and not to selfish gain. Pip in the end exorcises the devil of Ms. Havorsham from that woman's life and wins the damosel in distress, who has no clue that she is in distress. Her soul was tormented and stuck in sin. Her rebirth was attached to the love of that lowly orphaned boy. Christ is the author of our salvation and He will write the love story that exorcises our earthly bodies into the story that will glorify Him in our passions.

Did the Devil win with Herodias?

Oh the dance, It tumbles nations and can take the head off of the most godly man on the earth. Herodias wielded her power on the earth, to detach the godly from the earth. Her trophy for her dance was his head on her wall, as if it were a Lion. This would truly send chills to any who would embrace godliness to know whose hand ruled the morality of the kingdom. Is that not the case? Do we not rule the morality of the kingdom, by our dance and what makes us dance? We know if a man will move toward or away from such a dance and there is a dance for each of the kind of men in our influence. What will you give me? Did not the perfect man deny the Creator for access to the perfect woman? There is power in this: fearful power, indeed. God's power is greater still. He has redeemed and empowered godliness. See the Conquering Savior coming to seek and to save that which was lost. The kingdoms, which would be subject to the Herodiases of the world is able to be subject to Christ. God is able to make the kingdoms of the world subject to the morality of Christ in His families. He plants them and implants them with power to subdue the immorality of the world. When husbands love their wives they are fulfilling the law of Christ. Strengthening her to desire godliness and use her dance for the good and upbuilding of the kingdom of Christ. When we dance before our lord and husband, we are empowering him to walk in strength and confidence in an ungodly world. We are a granade of grace and strength. I look at Mr. Day, in life with Father (played by William Powell) His wife danced about him and had the leash of the lion in her hand. When we work together in this, it needn't be the "battle of the sexes." Job's covenant with his eyes was that he would learn and teach himself to be engaged in lust with only his wife. This strengthens and builds her up, too. If you steal the godly woman's tool of dance from her, you set the man up to be beguiled by Herodias. No! Dance for your husband, godly woman! Strengthen the granade of grace for the taking of the kingdoms of this world into the captivity to Christ, who created the "Marriage". The Kingdoms of this

America, the Beautiful!

Beautiful and to be beautified, America.   Don't stop beautifying America, with yourself.   I love you,  Happy Fourth.

On Frozen Cellulite! "WHERE ARE MY STRAWBERRIES?'

Nine strawberries came from the garden today.  Seven or eight had come off the plants on other days and I had squirrilly stored them away to boil for jam when I have enough.  My own "homegrown jam!".  I will be a woman, after all!

I carried my huge bounty into my, dishevelled morning kitchen and opened my enormous freezer, now perfectly organized by my sweet sixteen year old.  :)  { as organized as a teen can make it}  I reached in my usual spot to find my store.  Maybe seventeen strawberries, I had grown;  Maybe eighteen whole strawberries from MY garden.  An achievement for me, {if you knew me!}  Not there?  Not on the shelves, Not on the door!  I am sure, I felt my father well up inside my soul.  This is another "hammer-like dilemma".   I called a "courtmarshall".   Where are my strawberries?  I bellowed,  as gently as my steaming emotions would allow.  
Well, I am sure that this preface of the situation has jarred your memory to the incident that I am referring to.  You and I have it in memory.  You and I looked eye to eye and disagreed at the magnitude of this event. 
My mom and I had an incident with a plant in the window and my dad and I with a hammer misplaced by someone in the family. 
I have now seen, just today that these things were significant to them because they represented their adulthood to them.   They were certainly young parents and I an elderly one, but mine represents my pursuit of feminity. An illusive thing, but, significant.   Your feminity is not ever pursued, you posess it in your self, it seems.   Mine are in the strawberries.  As I replace the items from the freezer that you submissively extracted, I explain my tyrade.  I do not apologize for the tyrade, although it may have seemed overkill to you.  I explain it, though.

You, just may have wondered at my exaggerated expression.  Here you have the explanation, should you read it someday.

Let's Get Physical

Part of A Mommy's job is building the frame of the body for health.  The children are in your heart and you are in their hearts.
I can imagine, if we are raising the generation that will get their glorified bodies without seeing death, perhaps it is our job to teach them to develop earthly glorified bodies.  Bloodstreams and hearts that don't decay, because we don't beat them up.  Perhaps, what we do to God's heart, he allows us to do to our own hearts.  If we please His heart, perhaps we will cleanse our own heart problems, emotional and physical.

When did you first kiss?

. It is the joy of some, to keep from the young the beauty and the ravenousness of love. Some people dumb down the story to make it PG. I would be quiet and wait until the real story can be told. I will let the syphoners syphon love and passion from the story, if they would. Great expectations means that if there is no passion before the marriage, you cannot imagine that you will find it after. If you can use so much self control as to keep yourself soooooo pure in body and soul; maybe you don't love him. That is my philosophy. God meant love to be a great motivator. God bridged the divide and God pushed aside decorum to save His Bride the Church. Great Expectations shows the love of a sad and empty orphan, that drove him throughout his life and God used that love to save souls and to exorcise the devil from a community. The devil knows that secrets kept from people can give him a foothold. Secrets of bitterness, secrets of antagonism, secrets of thievery and falsehoods, PIP had a secret admiration that drove him to cleanse the world around him and his own soul. Better to deal with admiration, that might develop into lust, than thievery that leads to murder. God knows the truth of love and He has designed the love that grows into families. Henry Fonda, in Yours, Mine and Ours and in Spencer's Mountain gives some of the best love advice I have seen in the movies. Don't believe the fastidious nonsense. Live your life and love God and love as hard as you can, in marriage and when you get tired, love harder. Don't get shocked at the passion and plan for it.

Dear Evver

This morning, I am reminded of our beautiful and dearly departed Aunt Gloria. I talk about her to you, as I lament my ineptitudes at developing a green thumb. She is known for her lush greenery and foliage. Her front and backyards were alive with edible and inedible flora and fauna. She blessed us with lavender when we lived there near her and showed us aromatherapy, before it was cool. Her house was aromatherapy. More carbondioxide was processed at her house and more oxygen produced than any other house, I know. This morning, I am remembering her haircare. I was always awestruck that her hair was always perfect. I think that she cared for her hair and it wasn't for any other person, but herself. She was a widow and she cared about others, but she first cared about herself. Her hair was most similar to mine and so I looked very deeply into her eyes when she talked about her hair care. The antithesis of Grandma Ruth, who would make me want to cut all my hair off and never look at it again; Aunt Gloria pulled me aside as though we were peers. She said, I found such a great way to do my hair. I washed it and put rollers and took a drive in the car and the most perfect curls came out. I used the drive as a blowdryer. What an energy saver? I agreed and was grateful for her generous contribution to my difficult personal care. She loved me enough to talk me up, when I was discouraged beyond anything. Her spoonfuls of sugar made me think about caring when I couldn't have cared less. She was a dear and we miss her, here on earth. I hope that you can learn to encourage others like that.

Let's plan a picnic in the park for Easter?

I love it! Aren't you ambitious and a typical Walker sister? I would watch them work, in awe of their ability to plan and carry out the direction of brothers and mother and father with precision and flawlessly make memories for the family.
You have obviously inherited their ambition and abilities. It takes determination and grit, which may come from eating grits as much as we do. You've got it, Ladybug. Lets do it!

Forever! For EVA!

Today, you are very sick, You have a sad fever and I can't feed you like I want. I miss talking to you. I love you so much and am grateful for your companionship.
You were my little ladybug and I can't tell you how much I am grateful for you! Forever ForEVA I am your MOM and you are my baby girl For EVA!
Happy Valentine's Day- Sweetpea!

A Smallpox Epidemic?

Perhaps, just perhaps, I am making a mountain out of a molehill. In our family, it certainly is. My other children, usually accommodate my rants and raves about personal peeves. They usually walk away and don't challenge my maternal intuitions. Not my Evvy. She has intuitions of her own. This morning it was barefeet.

It is February. A mild February, granted, but February it is, just the same. I am deemed by all in the household the colorblind and others to be the least style conscious. They all have to dress me, if my colors would match. But, I am still the mother. Today was dress up day, in Public School, whatever that means. It looked like style day, to me. Only one glitch, somebody was going to school with her feet completely bare, sandals. Not the type of sandals with a strip of leather or something, to cover most of the feet and only toes hanging out, or heels hanging out, but the entire foot open except for spaghetti straps. I simply mentioned that they were inappropriate for the rainy weather and the fact that it is February.

I am not used to defending my arguments and taking out all of the stops about such things with my children. My Enoch, usually carries the children to obey their mother, even against their wills. They don't even have a chance to demand a hearing, with him. He couldn't get to her feet. He couldn't threaten her, with a glare. I had to articulate my argument.



I chose humor, since we daily have laugh fests about this or that thing. Usually my style inadeqacies are the humor. Today, I chose Pocohantas. I said you do look like Vanessa Williams, but you are not trying out for the part of Pocohantas, so get those sandals off your feet. It didn't work. Tears, sparks, flames, words, back and forth we went. Each time, I tried to choose the humorous anecdote, as opposed to the command tone. I had no movement of her will. Not even, I will think about it. Not even, I see your point but. No and stubbornly no. What do you know about this, no!

In my mind's eye I could see the young Pocohantas going before the Queen of England. If she had a mother, her mother would have told her to wear her shoes and maybe she would have lived past 21 years old. (maybe she wouldn't have been a legend, either). I saw the years past where "The Mother at Home" book made me see the life and death importance of having some command of the will of your child. I had to win this challenge. I went down every path of Pocohantas logic. I tried grossing her out. Only stubborn tears and accusations ensued. Such is the teenage daughter's mind. I remembered, with fondness, the times of challenge with the older two girls and how much I love them as women and the challenge that they have become.

The Pox of rebellion had a demi-pliette and I pulled out the Epipen of maternal prayer and persistence and Half-Nelsoned that girl in the wrestling match. When all else fails, might makes right. You get those shoes off those feet and sing to the blue corn moon when you get home, do you hear me. Smallpox may be eradicated, but obeying your mother is not. She stepped in it with me this morning and the ring of wrestling is still bustling with the sound of our battle of wills. I won the battle of the shoes, this morning and we both learned alot about eachother's points. I love teenagers, but I am glad that we only have two more waves of them, after this one.

I titled this challenge Pocohantas Go Home!