This year's after-Easter sickness...

Shingles? I am not yet 60 and have had it twice in one lifetime! Whether it was the easter candy or a little too much stress or just the way that my body signifies changes in life, I don't know. Still, I am very weak and achey from the pox. Thank God its over!

Precious memories of a precosious 3year old!

My children are climbing the walls with all of the candy that they have embibed in these days before Easter. When you kiss them you could get a cavity, They are starting to ferment, I think. Still, I do not keep them from it because the sweetness is only for a season and then it will be gone and I do have a sweet tooth myself. My favorite sweet memory is of Auntie's wonderful egg custard, which she used to make for me because they thought that I was too thin and starving to death. (imagine that:)) Real love was in every bite of that delicious egg and creamery mixture. I miss her right now when I think of it. She was such a stickler and it is sweet to imagine that she loved me enough to make such a healing brew for my froward tastebuds.
My Ezra was having a delightful time seranading us with this whistle that was so shrill that I had to tell him the story of his happy mouthed Grandpa (God rest his soul) who at 3 did the same to Auntie who ultimately gave him the ultimatum that if he blew it one more time he would find it after she passed away, needless to say he "blew it!". You should have seen the tears in his eyes when they found the whistle with his name on it at 40 something years old. I was there and I cry when I think about it. The more things change the more they stay the same!

Another March is over!

Glory to God! He has given me victory and help to live through another March! Every March, I feel as though it were my last. God, again has given me grace and help to learn from him and rejoice at His providences. I love Him and praise Him for the wondrous blessings and love that He bestows! Halleluia!

Psalm 115 (in memory of my longest day)

Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake. Wherefore should the heathen say, Where is now their God? But our God is in the heavens he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased. Their idols are silve and gold the works of men's hands. They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not: They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not They have hands, but they handle not: feet have they, but they walk not; neither speak they through their throat. They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them. O Israel, trust thou in the Lord; his is their help and their shield...
Thank you my God for the fresh promises of renewal in relationship with You!
You truly are the center of my joy!

My New Job

I started a job, outside of the home! I am fumbling to keep heart and hearth and home together while learning to keep all of these relationships together. I find it difficult. My grumpiness after work is evident and my social skills at work are not the same as my social skills at home. I have to figure out how to be the same person at work and at home. My, customer, smile and my home smile are not the same and older children tell you these things. Shame on me!

Recreating Mrs. Walker

I read 2 quotes on this day after my start of the new job training. I am recommitting myself to the care and keeping of my family and that without disposing of myself or my husband (in care)! These quotes are food for my thought on how to approach this new season of our lives in terms of family management and life, seeking to amass enough resources to run the family efficiently and such! Just attempting to keep body and soul together and live to the glory of God!

Kathy Peel said in ther book The Family Manager page 5

"The Ideal Peel Family
I want my home to be a place where the members know they are valuable, where they feel loved for who they are as unique individuals, where they know they belong and can grow in their separate interests. I want our home to be a friendly place for everyone, those of us who can stand clutter and those of us who like everything in its place..."
I desire to write a similar missions statement for myself in building my family. Wisdom is building up and not tearing down... God help me to be better!

75 degrees and sunny!

What a beautiful day in March! This is great weather we are having here in North Carolina. It takes getting used to for us to figure out what is bad weather down here. One snow day a year is wonderful. The sun is out even when it is raining. No wonder they all seem to have a sunny disposition, it is because the sun is always shining. Sunshine in my soul today! It is still Jesus who shines brightest when the sun is out all of the time and when it is not. Even when the sun and the day is beautiful, Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer!

I simply pale, because we are used to running on the adrenaline of antagonisms in NY. Conflict vs. conflict and we live on that. We get high on the struggle of life, I don't want to go under because of the lack of kicking and screaming. Kick, I say! Kick!
Thank you, God for the season of beauty and rain in the time of latter rain. Even if it is every season as here in NC.

God, give me Strength, please!

The rain finally came, and am I glad. This means that my grass and my seedlings have a chance after all. We never have to think about such things in places where precipitation is consistent. I must get used to this.

Rain is also good for my prayer life. I am praying for an unsaved couple I just met in the neighborhood. A cute young couple with 2 children who need prayer because without Christ, even the best of intentions cannot make it. I am praying for my children and their futures, with or without mates. The host of unsaved loved ones and those 2 bereaved families of the officers killed in New York(my home town).

I have alot of catching up to do around the house, but the rain makes me feel slow and sluggish. It is a good thing that the weather is no determination on whether God answers prayer or keeps the earth turning. He is all consistent and I am following Him, so that means follow the schedule and get to those laundered bedding. It is Friday and if you don't prepare for the weekend with these children at home, it will be a disaster and it won't have been the first time, God forgive me!

Scrumptuous Submission?

Is it submissive for me to do what I agree with for my husband? No! It is only when I disagree and do what is good that it can be called submission!
What a beautiful relationship can ensue when a couple learns the dance of loving leadership and submission! Love is the combination of the two.
Totalitarianism is the lack of love in leadership and rebellion is the lack of submission.

Good Morning, Joyful Heart

Good Morning, Happy Heart,
Christ bought you for me,
Were it not for His grace,
There would be no hope to see,
I am so grateful that there is grace for my life,
Jesus gave me joy!

The Blessing of Family

What a privilege it was this week to play host to two sets of extended family couples. Although it really is not extended family since our family is so large.
Ben's oldest brother blessed our home by coming to visit with his wife, Delores. We were surprised and Evelyn had a fever at the time, but in a family this large somebody is always carrying some kind of germ around. We kept her out of their way as much as we could. It was so good to see them and have them rejoice with us at God's gracious provisions for our family. They were traveling from SC to Virginia, where their new house is being finished and we spent alot of time enjoying their stay. I had not budgeted in for that in our budget so I am making a note that I must hide some treats away from the children for just such occurrences in the month.
While I was feeding them breakfast, which was pretty sparse, seeing this is the end of our budget cycle; a phonecall came in and Ben's nephew had a flight delay and was in town for a few hours. He is a Doctor of Psychology and it was indeed a privilege to play hostess to him and his wife for a while. What do you do with a doctor nephew? There was not enough time to play tennis or golf so we took them house shopping. It was so fun!
I hope that the next visitors are my family!

Bringing in the Sheaves

I am amazed at the joy that God brings in this prespring season at the remembrance of my father-in-law. His faith and temperance and Godly perserverance is a reminder to me. Pastor Pipers father died and that generation is dwindling. I remind myself in light of honoring my elders and precious service done for the sake of Christ to "receive the joy"
Follow them, as they follow Christ.
God is still more willing to give good gifts to His children than we are to give good gifts to ours. Thank You, Lord for the memory of the Godly.

commitment for joy

This week, in our house, we celebrate Esther in the Bible. Esther won the lives of her people, because of her submission to a very wicked and ungodly husband. I celebrate the fact that I have been blessed with a godly husband and recommit myself to my vows to Love, Honor and Obey him. I need God's help in this area.
Thank God for the opportunity to try to serve this godly man for His glory!

recipes for curing my March madness:

Has Earth No Sorrow…?

I never CRACK the Bible. My usual habit is to have some kind of planned and systematic reading of the scriptures, for my edification and strengthening(a lofty task and sometimes an excuse for not reading:)).
I tease my husband about his oft references to seeing something in scripture, when cracking it. We call it a Christian drug! This morning it happened to me. I, very inadvertently, opened to Jeremiah31;15-17. I know that I needed that this morning. I always intend to go on and let go of the grieving season, but my emotions are not always obedient to my intentions and my emotions seem to get the upper hand in such things. A moping spirit and a bitter attitude are not always seen in the countenance, although they are seen in the actions and words…
This morning, through the Bible Crack (which I abhor), God took my sullenness in His hands and spanked me. Stop it, stop it!
“Earth does have no sorrow that heaven cannot heal!” We are not in heaven yet. In the meantime it is about moderating the pain and using it in service to others! Help me, Lord.
God is not intolerant of my sullenness, He is longsuffering and instructional. Jeremiah reminded me that there is a hope in my future and the sadness should give way to rejoicing in a while.

Fruit in its Season?

This morning, was the first in a long time that I've been able to get out and walk. It was so sweet to see the new shoots of grass coming up in our neighborhood. I am not used to seeing so much of the sky and the deafening quiet in contrast to the hustle and bustle of the New York suburbs, that we think of as the slow life. I still love NY, but I am seeing the hand of God holding me amidst this overwhelming change in my life.
This is the day before the "18th birthday". Each year God comes through with some surprising encouragements to swab the pus out of the wounds of my soul at my maternal grief. This was the first year that Ben and I were able to talk about Baby Ben's birth. We have so many stories to talk about after 9 pregnancies, that one was too painful to discuss because it was the part of our lives that died. I feel that perhaps this is the beginning of a new transparency between us about that part of our pain. Men can't be women, but as parent partners and attempted lovers (when we make the time), maybe, we can help eachother better because of our loving transparency and his understanding of my need to share that with him after all these years.
Where are the hyacinths, down here?

March First

March first is often God's response to my prayers. I ask and I ask and I want to know when and march first is His reminder to me that it is while I am doing, walking, marching along that I will see the fruition of many of my prayers. I think that I am supposed to wait and that patience means that I am seated and comfortable in the process of seeing God work things out. NO! God's answer is March First. I want Jesus to walk with me. My prayers for peace and strength and help come in a while as I am not focused on me, but on Him!

A Prayer for Wisdom (When will I receive it?..march first!)

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Fly me up to wisdom, Lord! It is too high for me for I am a fool. I wish to see Your smile! I wish to see Your smile and to see the beauty of Your schemes and to grow in the grace which You bestow! Death is the consequence of sin. Life and abundant life is what Christ came to give and to gain for us, Your unworthy people. Still You loved us, help us to unwrap the gift of Your love in this beautiful life and earth and worlds that You have blessed us with and not to be the sower of the seeds of discord, but the sower of the seeds of faith and truth! I love you Lord!

The beauty of the elements.

It is 61 degrees in February! I am hooked on NC. This is the most fabulous weather I have ever enjoyed. It is spring and I am going to the store for my seeds for planting. The beauty of the reservoise was breathtaking. I had no idea the slow life could be so healing to the soul. I am enjoying this all and even I am surprised at the sweetness of this move. Thank you, God for good weather!
My heart needed it this week!

The Comforts of Home

I really hope that as we prepare our homes for the return of our troops we will consider all that they have been through on our account. They have been to the front lines of death and some of them very young. They have seen buddies and children and other cultures and we are ready to welcome them and they are ready to be home.
I don't believe that God will orchestrate their speedy return until our hearts are right and ready to receive them. God is sovereign and He will use all of these means to humble us to accept them home. It is a new day in this country and I don't believe that we will allow the sense of futility that we allowed the past troops to endure. Let us get our hearts and homes ready to accept these fellows and ladies home soon and let us pray to that end and see what God will do. For all of our sakes...

Lets beat our swords into plowshears and build an economy of life and health.

The Comforts of Home (dreams of peace)

Mother love!

I looked in a book of Norman Rockwell paintings and saw a woe-be-gone era depicted. WWar drew out beautiful reflections of loving relationships and fond family expressions. Rockwell spoke volumes about the depth of human relating which were known and felt as a result of the long absences and gruesome experiences that war afflicted our nation with at that time.
I was especially touched by the rendering of a mother and soldier son, peeling potatoes. His eyes were fixed on the potatoes, diligently peeling as though the overseer were going to make him repeat the procedure if one peel were in the mix. Her eyes were fixed upon him, lovingly and longingly, as if she would never again let him out of her sight if she could help it.
One glance at that photo of the painting, with my own eldest son just entering puberty and my youngest son, just exiting diapers ( at a ripe old age of 3 ) helped me much in my judgmental attitude about the baby-boomers permissive parenting and the chaotic societal changes that this nation endured as a result. It was as though the eternal mommahood tribunal had gotten together and decided that even if we knew it were for their own good, we would not add to the pain of another son of a mother if his spanking would be on our consciences that we caused him unnecessary pain and he was going to see some of the ghastliest sights and be hurt mercilessly, we would add not another stroke of violence to that emotional decay. I saw the female version of John Mayer’s song Daughter’s in the permissive life we gave them and I understood it. Still not agreeing…

The song of the 70’s

Mommies don’t beat your sonnies,
Your sonnies just came back from war.
Boys become soldiers, who die and see gruesome things.
So, let the government discipline them for service.



We loved so many of them into prison and drug addictions and ineffectiveness so that now the science of effectiveness and “How to” is the title of our lives. Back and forth the pendulum swings and we are now tangled in the strings of public opinion, from permissive to perfectionism and back again. Only God stands above it all. As Christians, we are at least rocked back and forth, if not tossed to and fro by the waves of public opinion…

frustrated blogger:(

It took me an hour and a half to get into the blog today. I am determined to be disciplined, but this is what always frustrates me. I hardly have that amount of time to spend at anything and I need to fill the dishwasher, yet I am sitting here trying to enter the mysterious world of Blogger. My brain hurts and my husband is now thinking that something is wrong with me for the quizzical look I have on while I am writing today. I must not quit!

Good Morning, I am bountifully blessed.

The sun has not yet come up on this day, and yet, God is good. The old hymn, When Morning Gilds the skies, comes to mind and my heart awaking does cry, "may Jesus Christ be praised". I am afraid that my grumbling and complaining will not give Him glory. I am struggling and fearful and looking to His next provision. Still, the continued cry of my heart is may my Jesus be glorified. I thank Him, this morning that He is not limited by my unbelief or sin. He created this day and it is my privilege to walk into this dark day holding His hand and looking to my Redeemer for fresh courage and grace to meet the challenges that await me and the overwhelming task of being faithful in the tasks that are my minimum daily requirement, namely being a wife and mother.
To my Father in Heaven, I am just His daughter and He is not grading me on my faith, nor my faithfulness. But, great is His faithfulness and because of this fact and reality, I press on.
I am meditating on Psalm 18 this morning, I will love You, O Lord, my strength. I have been weak in my body and in my soul this week and I am admiring that David could look at the unbelief that was his present position and look through it to a time when he would again love the Lord. That is where I am. I will love the Lord, who is strengthening me but as for right now I am grateful that His love is constant and consistent, when mine is slow and faltering.