April Fools----We missed you on April Fools this year, darling girl.

Distance is a hard place to be on special occasions. I led the boys who wanted to play a trick on somebody to do one to Emily, instead of you. She didn't really acknowledge it, but they had fun carrying it out. ....I had a wonderful healing April Fools day with the babies. I was playing like I was their coach and talking to them and throwing socks around, like I was running a clinic for them. It was such fun. And they were enjoying it. ...I heard Grandma Ruth's voice, who was the consummate athlete and coach for her whole life. I couldn't understand it. But when I was in grief, her contribution to my grief was a strong statement,"Jayne, where's your faith?" I felt truly stung for years and I just held it against her, as was the tenor of our relationship of "hate/hate" love/love I thought. Yesterday, I saw, for the first time that she was coaching me and I was like those babies oblivious to her meaning, in my grief. I was blinded by the grief and I was grateful for her being there, but she especially, I wanted to just be quiet. I love how Heaven clarifies misunderstandings, even years after their being forgiven and forgotten, in our minds. Our spirits have to process those realities.